Dear Future Me

1:46 in midnight. Nocturne op.9 no. 2 in E  flat major is playing. Laying on bed while typing as always. 20 years old, entering a new term at the college, sixth.

Dear Future Me, your 20 years old self hasn't cured her insomnia yet. She had cured it a long time ago but it comes back.. Still remember? we have it since 13, second grade of junior high school when we got our own room in Tomohon, yes it hasn't been cured. Have you cured it on your ages?

To be honest, being on this kind of situation brings so many thoughts that are flying on my head.
I am entering the sixth term now...and am in the middle of doubts trying to decide whether I should go for pure linguistics or take applied linguistics instead... What will I pick in the end? Will I make a good decision? I have been told so many times that my future has been amazingly planned.... but yes I am still a human and I am still worry about what I am going to be in the future.. I have been doing well in the college and I had had a job that put my parents' expectation on top, thinking that I am a good smart girl,but the truth is even I myself doubt about me too. Will I be able to fulfill their high expectation?

Dear future me, can I know what your occupation is now? .....how much money can you earn in a month? are you able to pay your pizza bill with your own money? how much money do you give your parents every month? even though you have enough money you will still ask mom and dad for money right? haha I know you...

I am wondering how your day is like..... and how you look after being aged....
I wonder which wind blows you, which way you have chosen..

Your 20 year old self promises that she will do all the best that she can to create the best version of you.... she wants to forget all the worries she has... she will walk in faith....

Dear future me, if you are reading this and you've become a successful person, remember to always keep up the spirit and shine your brightest sparks. So much we have been through, remember in senior high school we go like: school, ganesha, english class, guitar class... and on college be like: classes, and teaching at pia, and before that we took piano classes after classes right?.. all started in the morning and ended at afternoon after the sun set.... it was super tiring..we love saturday and sunday so much because those two days were the only days we didn't do much...haha... although it was so tiring but we didn't give up, did we? remember that we cried a lot at night but no matter how much we felt like giving up, but we didn't..right? look how far you have come.. so, never ever give up on whatever you are working on right now. Remember to always pray before stepping a step out of the door.. Eat well and take a time to take care of yourself.. you deserve all the good things in this entire world...